I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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