I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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