i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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