He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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