No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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