he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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