I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
