My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
