Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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