just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
