just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
