Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
