u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
