We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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