Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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