I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
