You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
