No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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