We got so high we made milksteak
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
