i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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