haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
