Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
