So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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