I cockslap morals
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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