Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
