I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
