My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
