Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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