If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
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