bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
