he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
