32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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