oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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