you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
