Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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