how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
