ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
not ubering you a puppy
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
