singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
