I faked an abortion last night.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
