We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
