READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
