time to smoke my breakfast
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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