Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
