I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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