Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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