I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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