Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
