Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
