There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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