did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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