We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
